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Vocation Prayer

The Reign of the Heart of Jesus in Souls and Societies - Father Dehon  

How little did I realize that these words of Father Dehon would mirror my own faith journey. 

I was born the sixth child out of ten in a family that struggled financially. My parents encouraged me to follow traditional American middle-class values: work hard and get ahead, be responsible, and obey authority in society and church.  

After high school, along with most of my peers, I joined the military. For four years in the US Air Force, I helped maintain many different weapons systems, including nuclear weapons carrying aircraft any one of which could obliterate entire cities. For the next five years, I worked for the military industrial complex helping to build ever newer and more destructive weapons systems.  

In more recent years, I have reflected sadly that in those nine years with the military, no one in church, family, school or society questioned me if my actions were moral or not. After all, it was the thing to do as an American. In fact, it was deemed a service to my country. These weapons not only threatened society but my relationship with God as well. 

Following several years of travel throughout the US, including such things as SCUBA diving, high performance cars, motorcycles, the night club scene and dating, I experienced an emptiness that led me to a life altering experience of God: I was holy and lovable as was everybody and everything else. I was so overwhelmed by God*s love that I broke with all my past and joined the SCJs, based upon their vocation literature at the time which appealed to second career vocations. (I was at that time of 1965, all of 28 years old.) Little did I know that the spirituality of the SCJs would mirror my own. 

My goal was to live with others who knew and followed this "God of my life", the God of Jesus of Nazareth, of the prophets and saints, and of all the wonders. It had little to do with social concerns. After all, I was raised a typical American male. Slowly that began to change and the motto of Father Dehon * the heart of Jesus in souls and societies * began to seep into my life. 

In 1979, four years after ordination, I made a life altering trip to Latin America where the struggles of those who were poor became a challenge to my faith. Upon returning, I knew that I could no longer continue my relationship with God without integrating this experience into all of my faith life. Not to do so would be to live a life that was disingenuous.  

But the journey was to be one which continues to this day, as Father Dehon*s theme implied. For I was, and still am, a white, American male who has internalized all that the values of the dominant culture. Because I am a white, male with many years of schooling and a religious priest, just by getting out of bed in the morning I benefit from this culture. For this reason, all the cultural values are imbedded deep within my soul. Clearly, the work of justice and peace would be a spiritual journey during which I would have to confront unjust systems in society and within my own soul as well.

For the last twenty years I have been engaged in this journey of conversion. I continue, as I was advised by those I encountered on my 1979 trip, to reflect upon Scripture from the point of view of those who are poor, to be an advocate for those without a voice, even in uncomfortable situations, and to put myself into leadership positions when I preferred to be more passive. Following the wisdom and example of several bishops in Latin America, in 1983 I sought permission from my religious superior to move into a poorer neighborhood, to try to make my home among the poor, because I came to understand that the context in which one finds oneself influences all our actions and understanding. 

During these twenty years, I have allied myself with those of like mind and spirit, Christians, Muslims, Jews, atheists and communists, for it is by their fruits that you will know them. I have also found myself violating the laws of the land through nonviolent acts of civil resistance against nuclear weapons, sanctions against the Iraqi people and economic oppression. Some of these actions have resulted in my being sent to jail. 

I am fortunate to have been assigned, for these twenty years, to work at the 8^th Day Center for Justice, a coalition of 30 congregations of sisters, brothers and priests, whose primary mission is to address unjust structures from a faith based perspective. These persons, and many others in distant lands give me hope and courage.  

Ultimately, however, my heart rests with the God of My Life who, I pray, will lead me in love and mercy to be a "prophet of love and servant of reconciliation." 

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